FWD: Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

So this was an article I stumbled upon a while back, and I have now decided to share it here on my blog,

1. To serve as a constant reminder of the important things in life: not money, not sports cars, but these.
2. To share this good read with my fellow readers
3. To let it forever be in one of my archives so that I can look it up easier compared to Facebook
4. To remind myself that this is one of the rare articles that could bring me to tears

Pasting starts here, originally written by a nurse working in palliative care:

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.

I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way,you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what  others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happine(ss)

Pasting ends here...................................................................................................................

I was originally tempted to pay my tributes to the original author by referencing it using the APA 6th style, but I was unable to identify him/her, as this article surfaced in the web around 2011, and possibly even before that. Many online publishers have copied and pasted pretty much the same thing and I was unable to pinpoint the original author due to poor referencing. And also, since I could not determine whether karenstan.net is a news page or a blog, I just decided to ignore it and just give the original link from FB here, so..

- See more at: http://www.karenstan.net/2013/11/11/nurse-reveals-top-5-regrets-people-make-deathbed/#sthash.M0uPXp4r.dpuf

P.S. If you know who the original author was, please do drop me a comment below. :)

Until next time!

-Shinn

Dota 2 - 10 Reasons Why the Transition was a Bad Experience for Me + mini-Review

I'm sure the word Dota is no stranger to anyone who's been into an internet cafe, or owns a computer. But today I'm not gonna talk much, just a little about Dota 2 - a standalone sequel to the immensely popular Warcraft III mod, Defence of The Ancients.

IGN's Video Review:


Gamespot's Video Review:


So this game has been around for quite some time, I received my beta invite like 1.5 years ago, I still remember it like it was yesterday, sounds like a cliché i know, but it's the truth. And I still have my e-mail kept, I looked it up in my Steam inbox, and Voila! The date says June 23rd, so 1.5years sound about right. Screenshot below:

My Dota 2 Beta Invite

I was overjoyed when I received this cuz I was the first among my friends to be able to play this. So I played my first match of Co-op versus AI, and I didn't like choosing heroes so I randomed Invoker.Then I was like sh*t, i can't remember the invoke list, but you know what? I'm just gonna go with this cuz I want the extra gold. Nonetheless, it was definitely a bad experience at first cuz:

1. I had stopped playing Dota 1 for some time, skills were very rusty
2. Even in the original, I wasn't a very good Invoker player
3. I didn't know how to check the invoke list
4. Vastly different AI behaviour
5. We used to buy by left-clicking, then it was switched to right clicking
6. Searching for items was a pain in the ass at first
7. Different interface, icons, character models
8. Glyph of Fortification and Creep Kills/Denies were nowhere to be found until I noticed my bottom right
9. A minor one - the original's 'Sentinel vs Scourge' had become 'Radiant vs Dire'
10. The overworld map was darker overall, where the original was brigther; the map in the UI felt smaller too

Offline Mode Home Screen: I was selecting my AI difficulty here, as you can see, Unfair is the hardest as of now.

Hero Selection Screen V1: This is what I'd like to call - The Horizontal View, which I prefer less, but you do get to see the detailed facial animations of the heroes that we have all come to know and love.

Hero Selection Screen V2: This is the Grid View, where it's easier to select heroes based on availability, and type(S,A,I), the one I prefer.

Post-game Stats: My first ever perfect run against the Unfair AI, with no deaths and 26 kills. (Just only finished this match at 9pm Novermber 12th)

Even so, the change isn't so bad once you get used to it, and in fact, the change is for the better. The slicker GUI, the superb graphics, the sound design, item search and organisation - everything just looks and feel better. And I must say, I've already gotten to the point where I cannot, and won't ever wanna get back to the Warcraft original!!

I'm not trying to write a review here but I'll outline Dota 2's strengths and weaknesses:

+FREE to play

+Sleek, User-friendly GUI

+Excellent sound design (from the 'Zap' of Zeus' Thundergod's Wrath to the very familiar 'Mmmmooonster Kill')

Thundergod's Wrath: In an early version of the game, a well-timed screenshot showcasing the lightning bolts summoned by Zeus when his Ultimate is activated.

+Much better graphics and customization (Shadows, Anti-Aliasing, Ambient Occlusion, Texture, Post-processing.. you name it)

+Customizable hotkeys

+Instant gratification

+Constant updates significantly reduce bugs
+Highly balanced

+Steam workshop
+Infinite replay value
+Well-developed and has matured compared to other MOBAs like HON and LOL
+Highly entertaining and enjoyable when played with or against group of friends
+Reworked names such as Outworld Devourer from the original Obsidian Destroyer

-Updates can take you quite some time if you don't have a decent internet connection

-Requires internet to play LAN, which defeats the purpose of it (the LAN is currently only developed for the purpose of tournaments)

-The infamous item purchase bug
-VERY steep learning curve
-Complexity tends to push newcomers away

-Relatively high PC requirements compared to LOL and the original

-Hero roster still lack some heroes like Terrorblade

-Like all online games, some users are just jackasses

Utter Chaos: Sometimes there are just so many things happening on-screen that it's hard to keep track of them - until you die, of course, like the Undying here, no pun intended.

Closing Comments:
If you are a busy person and only play games for instant gratification, then look no further, Dota 2 is for you!! If you are looking for a competitive game with depth, strategy and challenge, look no further too, Dota 2 will suck you up!! If you like to play games with story, then of course MOBA games are not for you.

Simply put, Dota itself has a universal appeal, and can be very addictive. I've seen people who have put in >500hrs in it, than's more than the amount of time I spend in my Pokemon and Monster Hunter!! So it's Insanely addictive, and players must exercise caution and self-restraint not to overindulge in it.

Dota 2 is a well-polished, constantly updated, balanced and addictive MOBA game. Its visual aesthetics, combined with the superb sound design and distinctive heroes, have all made Dota 2 the sequel that we all deserve, and love.

Score: 9.0 Amazing

Attack on Titans #51 - Levi's Squad Review

Levi's Squad

The 46-pages-long Attack on Titans #51 provides an interesting conclusion to the previous mini-arc and foreshadows what's about to come in the future installments. Minor Spoiler: It seems we'll have to wait for a couple of issues before any titans are featured again.

Yes, I enjoy every read of AoT, but since it usually takes a month for Hajime Isayama sensei to release a new chapter, it kinda breaks the momentum, which is a bad thing really.

*I'm still deliberating whether I should write manga reviews with spoilers or not, of course each has its own pros and cons, the obvious being there wouldn't be anything to write about if I can't write anything that spoils the story for readers.

I read #51 here!

Humble Bundle - WB Games

Introducing the Humble Bundle!!



If you haven't heard about it, it's a site for you to purchase games at a price you'll never dream of.
This season they have the Humble WB Games Bundle, which will give you these games:

• Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
• F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origins
• F.E.A.R. 3
• Lord of The Rings: War in the North

Just name your price, any amount will do, yes you didn't read it wrongly, ANY AMOUNT!!

THE HUMBLE WB GAMES BUNDLE: Support charity by buying games!

In addition, if you pay more than the average, now at 4.63USD, you'll unlock two more awesome games!

• Batman: Arkham City Game of The Year Edition
• Scribblenauts Unlimited

In a nutshell, if you pay 4.64USD or more, you'll instantly gain access to 6 awesome games that could easily cost you more than 50USD!! Additionally, you're supporting charity by buying games from Humble Bundle, I'd say it's a pretty awesome deal!

Now some of you might think that this is too good to be true, but I must say, this is not a scam and is 100% legit. I repeat, THIS IS NOT A SCAM! I've personally bought three Humble Bundles so far, and all of the Steam and Origin game keys worked like a charm!

PAYMENT: You can literally pay any amount you want for the four games, in addition to selecting the distribution of your payment. I usually go for the Default Split as shown above.

If you're not sure about the charity organization - We Can Be Heroes, it's part of DC's CSR programme - it's a non-governmental organization which organises DC merchandise sales, exclusively-autographed stuffs and the like, all in the name of charity, in which 50% of the sales profit directly goes to the benefit of the less-fortunate.

Just check out their website - http://www.wecanbeheroes.org/

STATS: Just look at how much people all around the world are willing to pay for these games!! Or rather, support charity!!

So what are you waiting for? Support charity today at https://www.humblebundle.com/  !!!

Blog update: Nov 10th, 2013

I'm a week away from my final exams, which is why I'm here in the first place.
1st - to get away from my boring revisions.
2nd - to update my blog
3rd - to post my review of XCOM
4th - to plan a revamp of my blog

As you can see, I'm planning to blog about different stuffs from here onwards. In my past few years, I only blogged about my personal issues and ranted angrily about some other stuffs.

But now, I've decided to change, to switch my blogging entries into something more of my lifestyle. You see, I read manga, I play games, I watch movies, I update myself with stuffs mostly from the geek side of the world.

Which is why I thought I should post my blogs with these relevant entries too, most probably reviews about games that I have played this year, or maybe reviews of each week's One Piece, Naruto, Bleach and Fairy Tail mangas - so stay tuned peeps(not that any of you are my regular readers, but whatever)!

Until then, ciao!

-Shinn

XCOM: Enemy Unknown, a very late review

So I finished my first playthrough of XCOM: Enemy Unknown on PC not long ago on September 7th, yes I'm about a year late to the party but this game didn't really impress me initially so I didn't wanna play it. But now that I've played it, I'm gonna say this was one hell of a ride for a TBS(Turn-based Strategy) lover like yours truly.

I hereby present to you my first ever game review in my blog, minor spoilers alert!

COVER ART: XCOM Enemy Unknown PC Box Art

Basic Info:
Developer:     Fireaxis Games, Feral Interactive
Publisher:      2K Games, Feral Interactive
Release Date: Oct 9th, 2012(NA) Oct 12th, 2012(Int.)
Genre:           Turn-based Strategy/Role Playing Game(TBS/RPG)
Game modes: Single player, Online multiplayer (2persons PVP mode)
Ratings:          Mature/Pegi 18
Platforms:       Windows, Macintosh, Xbox 360, PS3

OPENING: The game opens with an interesting, yet 'terrifying' quote, a prelude to what's about to come. (Aliens, UFO, anyone?) *Also, I had to shrink all the other images from XL to L, or else they would have crossed the line like this one did.

FIRST MISSION: Your first mission commences with only 4 squad members with the same armor and weapons, with randomly assigned names and no class specialization. Eg. Holly Clarke, which i prefer to read it as - Holy Clerk!!

As your new recruits gain experience in the battlefield and get promoted, they are randomly assigned into one of the 4 different classes that each has their own pros and cons.

1. Heavy
2. Assault
3. Sniper
4. Support

The Psionic class is an extra, special class that you'll not gain access until late game. Keep in mind that the Psionic class is not a separate class, but it builds upon your current class and enables your unit to gain access to additional Psionic abilities.Take my 'Omega' Summer Cheong for example, she's a Colonel ranked Sniper, but also has access to the Psionic abilities. Only Psionic-enabled units are able to wear the Psi Armor, where the Psi abilities are in purple, as shown in the 'HEADSHOT' screenshot below.

HEADSHOT: 'Omega' Summer Cheong prepares to snipe an Uber Ethereal with her Plasma Sniper Rifle. Her Psi Armor is easily the best armor you can eventually research and purchase in the game, but at $400, it doesn't come cheap .

The gameplay is divided into 2 segments: TBS on the battlefield, and Base Management during mission intervals. Battlefield TBS is self-explanatory - you're deployed into an area with alien activity, and you'll be ordered to Dispatch the enemies, Locate and escort a VIP back to base, Examine the UFO wreckage or Assault an alien base.

MISSION PREP: You'll eventually unlock 2 more squad slots to allow up to 6 units in your mission squad. It's just glorious when you have them lined up like this.

BASE MANAGEMENT: Facilities built adjacent to one another nets you the adjacency bonus. For example, every Satellite Uplink or Satellite Nexus built in adjacent will provide a +2 satellite capacity bonus.

The Base Management, however, is more complex than it seems, where early decisions will have significant repercussions. For example, if you bought extra Medikits from the Foundry(I actually bought 6, damn it), which heals 4 HP on use, it'd be a waste of money since you might not want all of your squad members to carry a Medikit, cuz you're only allowed to carry an extra item such as a Medikit, a Scope, or a Grenade in the early game. To remedy this, your Support class units are able to learn a skill that enables you to carry two items in a mission. For other classes however, it is wise to take a moment off to think about what to bring along.

LAUNCHING SATELLITES: I permanently lost 2 countries in my first playthrough, unfortunately, which was a shame.

However, that was just a small example of Base Management. A bigger example would be Launching Satellites. As you progress through the game, nations will have increased panic level due to unchecked alien activity without a satellite scanning the region. Therefore, it is imperative to launch as many satellites as possible at the start of the game to minimise panic and bring in the extra income per month as each satellite is launched for a nation.

In the case that the panic level of a nation has exceeded the threshold, the country will permanently withdraw from the Council, where any additional rewards you were receiving will be null from that point onwards. If 8 countries withdraw from the Council, it'll be an immediate game over. Micromanagement and careful planning are therefore important if you want to survive another planetary assault to see the ending and credits.

BARRACKS: The game gets better though: You can customise your squad member's names, skin colour, hairstyles, loadouts etc. The game certainly gets more interesting if you name your squad after your friends.

HUGE shoutout to my fellow blogger and friend: Quince Yap, my Major ranked Heavy class, codenamed 'Thunder' - checkout his awesome blog at http://mygfisguminho.blogspot.com/

UNIT CUSTOMISATION: Fairly late into the game, my boy Quince was gorgeously equipped with a Titan Armor, a Heavy Plasma, a Blaster Launcher, and a Scope lens for that +10 Aim. 

END GAME: It took me more than 20 hours to beat the game, and it was a fairly good run, as you can see, i did a little better than most people on the planet - I only lost 3 soldiers in the final level(whose names I won't be mentioning). I tried repeatedly to not lose anyone for more than 2 hours, but I just gave up in the end cuz it's too damn hard to not let anyone die.

Here's a video review by IGN's Steve Butts:

Here's another one by Gamespot's Kevin VanOrd:

Summary:

+Addictive, tension-filled TBS gameplay

+RPG elements - classes and skill tress make your squads progressively more powerful

+Soldier perma-death gives you an emotional attachment to your squadmates, especially if you name them after your friends

+Memorable and diverse cast of aliens

+Well-animated character models

+Complex base management economy makes each decision important

+High replayability

-Difficulty spike during final mission, especially in the last segment

-Equipment sorting during prep

-Boring and repetitive maps, for some reason, the UFOs never crashes into cities, only forests

-Dumb civilians who sometimes run towards aliens to be killed

-Camera foibles and visual glitches

-No selling option for extra equipments

Score: 8.5 GREAT

I'm very blessed

I'm a lone wolf.
You don't kacau me, I won't bite.
That simple.

Most of the time, in my university, I eat alone.
I don't need your pity though,
I'm perfectly capable of eating alone.
And I enjoy it actually, cuz making conversations with people is a pain I think.

These alone time are hard to come by these days,
I'd just prefer to have my meal while thinking, reminiscing and reflecting about myself and some memories which i hold dear.
If you come sit beside me, you interrupt me.
And I just have good enough manners, and some laziness also, to not tell you that.

Sigh, having good social skills to know people can be a pain too.
You can only have so many friends, and managing these budding, so called 'new friendships' is also a task I'm not fond of.
You kinda need to filter these friends like your fb friend requests i think.

Of recent events, i think i'm getting more and more patriotic with each passing day. I was, of course, devastated by the election day's results. Really, really sad that night, couldn't fall asleep, literally.

Be that as it may, recent events of black as silent protests have really got me going. I see hope and a brighter future for us all. I'm happy.

Even so, I get a lil sad and down sometimes, but I'm glad i have a habit of keeping things to myself. I don't go and announce to my friends I'm sad or down or depressed - that's just not who I am.

Being silent might seem unhealthy for some, but IMO, i think it teaches me to be strong. It serves as a constant reminder that I have to stay strong for myself, for I do not fancy relying on others, nor do I like the idea of sharing my inner-most thoughts with people.

Ultimately, I can classify myself as a recluse. Though I hardly think of myself as an introvert - I can be rather noisy and active when I feel like it; and I enjoy being a lone wolf when i need some alone time.

Over the years, I've picked up different speech patterns from my friends. Indeed I was an introvert, many years ago, until i gradually picked up my friends' speech patterns for my own usage. I TALK COCK, then I think at some point, I became LC, but I don't think I'm arrogant actually, just LC, in the way I talk.

Mayhap I've offended lots of people along the way, but I just like being blunt and straightforward. But recently, I'm kinda reflecting on this, it's just, old habits are hard to be rid of. Or rather, they're already part of who I am now. I like being blunt and straightforward, but I think it might have been too much at times, that I may have been a jerk.

Sigh, at the age of 19, approaching 20. I'm not proud to say that I'm still doing my soul-searching, ie. I'm still unsure of what kind of guy I wanna be. It frustrates me every time I think about it.

See, I'm the kind of guy, who's so bold that he ain't afraid of dying or doing anything, which is why I don't really give a rat's ass as to how people think about me, well, usually, and in most cases. But recently, I conduct little surveys by asking a few friends what do they think about me, cuz I want to know whether my, so-called 'friends' are comfortable being around me.

Pretty much, I'll iterate that I'm perfectly capable of living alone and dying alone when the time comes, but of course, having a mate to sleep on the very same bed for the next couple of decades is a good thing to hope for, and to strive for. Though for years I've always been kind of sad when I think that I'm always, and always will be the kind of guy who's only good enough to be a friend, and nothing more.

Not to mention my mom who keeps on pressuring me about gf stuff, it does make me speechless and sad most of the time, but I do manage to cope with it. I guess at some point, I've already hinted that I might most probably live the rest of my life in my man-cave Alone.

And yes, should that scenario ever be my future, I'll just regret not being able to name my children Bruce and Scarlett. I told a couple of friends about this, and one of 'em told me these are good names to go with my last name. I'm glad actually. And sometimes, I do picture myself calling out their names. My imaginary kids look different each time i think about them, but the love of my life, that woman smiling behind my imaginary kids, she's always a blur. But she does always look like the woman of my dreams, yea, it's just a dream, and it may stay, just a dream.

At this point, I still can think of anyone who'd be willing to spend the rest her life with me. People say you'll find The One at some point in life. I doubt that. I think it's more to ourselves than destiny. I mean, what's destiny gonna do for your life, if she gives you a girl right in front of you, but you don't know how to cherish and grab the chance presented?

Haha, I try. I try hard in fact, and most of the time, I do realise I am no fun to talk with. It's obvious, rather obvious. It's sad, but I live with it. I've been living my whole life to this point with that in mind, what's there to lose?

And I do have so many things in mind that I wanna accomplish while I'm alive, that includes owning my very own house by the age of 30. My mom finished-off her instalment at the age of 25, she told me, I wonder if I can even reach my target of 30, let alone 25.

Which brings me to my Lamborghini dream. I pledge to myself, in the hopes that I could own  a Lamborghini by 40. Haha, it's a big dream, and yes it seems so far far away. 20 years more - two decades more filled with so much doubts and uncertainties, I wonder if I could make it through, and if I could, with whom?

Will my current list of friends whom I hold so dear, walk with me till the ends of the earth? Until Death decides to take one of us away? I doubt it, but true friends stay true, and the bond stays strong and never wavers, I will it to be so, and wish it'll turn out so too.

I'm good at many things, it's like I have a natural affinity to many kinds of stuffs - these were always my confidence boosters, for my academic results were nothing to be proud of. But then, I wish I could be good at so many other stuffs as well. I'm even so greedy that, say, if I were given a magic lamp or 7 dragon balls to make a single wish, I'd wish "to know and understand all there is to know and understand in this world and universe; no knowledge will be out of my reach"

Haha, such a wild dream. And a very impossible one too. Say, if magic truly exists, I'd create or learn a spell that may grant me immortality just to pursue that dream of learning all but limitless knowledge. How nice if I could live for eons and learn and evolve. But witnessing the deaths of so so many loved ones can be a pain too.

This life I'm living, I think I'm very blessed, and for that, I'm truly grateful, and happy. I try to live a life with no regrets, but of course, we always have something that we regret doing or not doing. I always do, and I always do wish I could turn back the time and rewind things and incidents, to make things better.

And still, everything's a dream. AND IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP. i mean sleep.

***This post(and all of my blog posts actually) was(were) never intended for anyone to read, so if you somehow stumbled upon this by chance, thank you so much for reading. I'd very much like to meet you people who'd check my blog haha, it's just so surprising and exciting really.

***This is not an assignment, so I don't really do proofreading. And yes, I know there are grammatical errors, but I'm just too lazy to proofread what I wrote an hour ago. I just don't care, really.


Shinn
May 9th 2013. 2.50am