Boredom

That little boi boi is bored.
On some level, he suppose that boredom is a good thing. Considering his present environment, the opposite of boredom could well be life threatening. Perhaps he should be grateful. Perhaps...
Nope. Nope, still bored. Impossible to be grateful for being bored. There are simply too many interesting things going on in the world to tolerate boredom for even a moment.
It's probably his mind that is to blame. His mind is always racing, always thinking, always conceiving new ideas, new concepts. His mind chafes against boredom, rages against the very notion of tedium. He thinks about a friend of his who was a coffee addict, claiming that the reason he regularly put junk up his mouth was that he was bored, and having a sip of coffee helped to counteract the threat of impending tedium.

***Some really random things a klutz wrote, just to rectify boredom.=]

2.56am

22 November 2009

Truant?

I know i am not supposed to be here right now,

I was supposed to be there.

I know i am not supposed to blog here right now,

I was supposed to be there.

It all started since that fateful tuesday,

the very 1st time in my life,

I didn't go schooling,

for no reasons.

I played truant.

And now,

I regret it.

I'm puzzled.

I don't know what to do.

***Flashback***

[D Tuesday]

It was already 6am, or more than that, actually.

He felt someone shaking him, calling his name, trying to wake him up.

Yet, he didn't.

All he did was just ignoring them.

Around half past twelve in the afternoon,

He was awaken from his deep slumber.

'Another 1 hour and 15 minutes, my bros are gonna come back home.'

He thought to himself.

[D Wednesday]

A Miserable day, indeed.

He again, woke up at 6.45am, which was the time he and his family usually depart from home.

Quickly, he ran towards the bathroom.(Although it's just beside his bedroom)

All he knew was, he wanted to keep his promise.(Don't ask me what promise, kay? I'm not that good at secret-telling)

He did what needed to be done, ASAP.

However, by the time he got out of the bathroom,

they were already gone.

Left with no other choice,

he changed to his schooling attire,

drank a mug of MILO,

and out he went.

Walking was fun, but DIRTY.

He was soaked wet when he reached his class,

it wasn't the first time already, so it didn't really matter.

[D Thursday]

He woke up pretty damn early, 10am.

He tried texting and calling, for guidance, for help,

as he was left alone at home.

No one replied, nor did they answer.

Frustrated, he sat on his bed,

didn't know what to do.

'They must have thought I didn't want to go to school.'

He thought to himself.

After brushing his teeth, he sat there, right on that spot on his bed which he was sitting a while ago.

He waited, for their reply.

He hoped the telephone would just beep, ringing would be need too much hope.

Finally, he rung.

He already knew it wasn't her though.

But, it was fine, and great.

Cuz someone called, at least.

Hern Yi was the one who called.

H.Y. told him about where he should be going later.

He reassured him that he will go, and he wanted to go to school.

Yes, He will indeed.

He swear, he isn't gonna make the same mistake ever again.

12.04pm

19.November.2009

The Day Which Wasn't Supposed To Be

When night falls,,,

2009's gonna end,

Cuz 2012's comin lol...

12/11/09

"We were warned"

The year everyone's been waiting for,

The end of the world,

is near.

Gonna catch this movie for sure,

but the initial plan has been changed,

so 'll probably go on friday.

2009 is really coming to an end,

i don't know why, but i just get the feeling that this year just flew

Everything just happened so fast.

It's as if i have just had my PMR yesterday.

And i already have to face SPM now.

HECK...

I don't know how am I gonna do that...

Today's a good day,

with us singing and winning and stuffs...

These moments, perhaps they're the last, so i'll cherish 'em...

Well, singing together on stage is not something students of 10+ could do all the time,

that's why i thought at least this could be part of my ever-lasting memory when i leave school, leave home, leave friends...

Dunno, it's just...

Look, there's only around 1 year left for all of us to be together,

going to the same school, the same class, the same laboratory, the same canteen, the same toilet, everything...

and after that, it's gonna be GOODBYE,

perhaps it would be the last one you can ever say to a person,

or it might not be,

cuz we might meet each other some other day, right?

Who knows?

But, to be honest,

i just get the feeling that,

even if we did meet one another when we start college-ing/uni-ing,

we wouldn't be able to talk and chat and do stuffs we did back here at school back then...

I don't know all about these, it's all so random, again...

All i know is that,

there's not much time left for us to be together,

and that's what really matters to me, right now.

Cuz it seems like i'll lose lots of hard-earned trust and friendship once i leave school,

as i won't be studying Form 6 or whatever it is, probably...

Holy crap, i really can't believe i'm gonna be in Form 5 next year,

all the while i always thought i till have a long time and long way to go before i will study Form 5...

And now,

'Poof'', here i am, ending Form 4 in 2 weeks,

and a new school life at a different class will start, soon...

And so it's time for me to think about my career, my future,

as i haven't really thought deeply about it.

Cuz there's just so damn many jobs in the world,

and i would like to do all of 'em...

Zzz, i'm so greedy,

despite knowing that's obviously impossible...

The results for this final exams aren't that amusing,

i'm totally unsatisfied...

Well, the last time i was satisfied with my results was,

indeed, during the UPSR paper, and the years before that...

All i can say is that 'Gone were the days when he was still a hardworking boy, he's changed,

not in a positive and encouraging manner, he's become a lazy bum who' s only interested in computers and gaming consoles...'

That's why his results deteriorated, crappy results.

Damn it!

Results, they always meant somethin to him...

12.08am

11 November 09

Talk

He needs someone to talk to.

'So much to talk about, yet don't know how to start with, eh?'

Wish i could lend him a hand.

Something just so RANDOM

Dear Blog,

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to abandon you and leave you here alone for months...

I don't think i have someone to talk to, that's why i'll just utter some nonsense on a new page of you, you won't mind, would you?

Yesterday was the beginning of HAPPY DAY, (not very HAPPY, actually)

and today is the beginning of DOOMSDAY.

I thought it would be a good day today at school, although i knew it would be quite lame and boring with the award giving ceremony going on in the morning.

Yea yea~Applause, Applause and Applause...

Things then turned real bad after the ceremony and all ended, i peered at the teacher's desk with the exam score sheet on it.

Message on my head -"Oh No...."

It was Physics period soon after the long long recess, which i used the time to just stare at the same page of the Twilight novel i purchased months ago. Yes, i was looking at it, but not reading though...Physics, yea Physics...lame grades either...

But it sucks the most when the both neighbours sitting beside me got excited and made such fuss about their god damn full-marks, 40 over 40. (Yea, yea, great, cool, congrats, but just turn down your volume when you're try to celebrate)

I would have preferred if you guys who scored better grades than the others, would just shut your god-damn-mouth and stop boasting about yourself by asking how much the others got.

It's pretty irritating when i "OVERHEARD" you criticizing that girl who sits in front, it's not that i admire, adore or like her or whatsoever...

Just be humble, wouldn't you?

Besides, you were only sitting next to me and you wouldn't even bother how i felt when you were teasing the others, especially when that person was just right in front of me? Curse you!

And you wouldn't have believed this, someone proposed to come over my house and have a steamboat party. Yea, yea, BRILLIANT idea...

Who slept the earliest, remember?

Who did the cleaning then, remember?

Who played my computers when most of them were busy preparing for that steamboat, remember?

(At this point, this post sure IS a mess, so unorganized, but it can't be helped, for my feelings and thoughts are currently like that too)

I could remember myself doing the dishes that night, with some of them already asleep, some too absorbed to the movie to such extent that they didn't even notice my disappearance...

It's been so nice of you all back then, leaving the master of the house cleaning the whole mess while you were all sleeping and watching TVs...Such nice friends you all were...

I decided to get over it, but this memory of that day keeps on reappearing on my head.

Why?

Well, i don't have to answer this, do i?

Lately, someone's been a real ass.

Y. H. Y.

Yea, i know everyone knows you, so i don't have to type your full name out, right?

Such an asshole you were back then, not to mention yesterday...

You've been trying on my patience, someday, i'm gonna lose my wits and you'll regret.

I admit you do have your good qualities of being a friend,

but sometimes you are so damn annoying...

By the way, is it some random acts of kindness to lend someone your phone?

I don't think so...By that time when i was willing to 'lend' you my phone, i thought you'd return it, not OWN it.

Some of you really pisses me off, but i think it's best if no one knows about this...

I don't even know what i wrote here, as i don't even look back and check for errors in posts...

Damn It

I'm being underestimated,

and I don't like it.

[SUPER HQ] Girls' Generation (SNSD) - GEE FULL MV!!!!!!!!!

Lenglui~=]

Thank You So Much~

One of my mom's maids is gonna leave tomorrow.

Back home.

Back to Indonesia.

2 years of working.

From ba-ka to pro-ka.

I do respect them, to be honest.

Not to mention the age gap,

and to their jobs.

Without them,

my house wouldn't have been this clean and tidy.

Sometimes, the place gets really dirty and messy.

If there weren't them, it would have been an eyesore.

Thanks to you two...Kakak Aminah and Kakak Yati

I overheard my mom saying that she couldn't get a child after a few years of marriage.

Here's my sincere "THANKS FOR EVERYTHING",

and wish her all the best when she gets back.

=]

Terima-Kasih banyak banyak~

10.47pm

25 September 2009

Ah~ An Idiot's Life

I've been knowing this kid for quite some time.

This kid i know, he doesn't talk much.

He's not really tall compared to kids of his age.

Okay, so there's something i know about this kid's life yesterday.

Ever since his grandpa's sudden death, his grandma's been acting strangely,

She dare not live in her house.

She says she's afraid.

Initially, she slept with the kid.

Next, the boy's grandma moved.

Moved to her daughter's place.

And now,

she's currently staying with her sister.

So, the thing the boy's confused is,

What's she so afraid of?

Is she being afraid of her own husband?

What the....

Yesterday, the grandma claimed that she had totally forgotten to bring lunch for the child's younger siblings - a 10-year-old boy and a 7-year-old girl who were at school waiting for her.

She had also forgotten to pick the twins up at the bus stop, and hence both of them walked back.

Furthermore, she had forgotten what time she should pick the kid up...

The kid was thus worried about his grandma,

afraid that she'll have as she can't accept her husband's death...

And so,

When she asked the boy what time to pick the boy up,

The boy answered "No Need"

"Nevermind, i can fetch you before 5pm~"

"I think it'll be later than 5pm...So it doesn't matter, i'll come back myself tomorrow"

"Emm... I think i can make it, so you'll call me when you're ready, right?"

"Errrr... There isn't such need, my friend will send me home..=]"

"Oo... Your friend'll send you home, then ok la~"

In his heart, he's apologizing silently to his grandma for lying.

As he knows there isn't any friend who's gonna send him back.

And so,

The boy walked home today.

What a tiring journey.

He started by looking at his black, 5-year-old Casio watch.

It took the boy some time to read the time, and finally, he saw it.

4.48pm

Mentally, he was already tired.

Without further delay, he took off.

Around 5pm, he reached O.K. Tuck restaurant.

The boy was already perspiring under the blazing hot cruel Sun.

At a 5meters-wide road, he was at.

Yet, all of a sudden, a familiarly girlish, yet aged voice was heard from the opposite road side.

The boy turned up his head and looked towards the direction the voice was made.

"O.M.G. What the hell is grandma doing here????"

Analysed the surroundings,

determined that his grandma was picking some vegetables and was asking the price.

Without a word,

he turned his head back straight and fast-walk, LIGHT SPEED!

He quickly made a left turn, into an alley,

just in case if his grandma took that way back.

He then walked the quiet alley which cars rarely use.

Passed by the old kindergarten/children's daycare center he used to go till primary 5. Nostalgically, he looked at it.

And walked past it, made a right turn, back into the main road.

Fast-walking was quite impossible anymore,

as he was struggling up a long-long slope.

His bag on his back, was a real burden now,

even though it wasn't heavy at first,

now he felt it.

His legs ached, calling for a Time-Out.

Ignorant as he always was, he ignored them all,

he was really afraid that his grandma would be behind him any time.

And he'll be flooded with questions if she saw him.

And she'll be sad and angry of her grandson,

to be a liar,

to bluff his grandma.

Phew, the uphill journey ended,

and now,

it's downhill...

Wohoooo~~~~

Energy level - normal,

Systems all green.

START UP.

He sprinted down the slope,

and rang the bell.

The black watch clocked at 5.06pm.

Gasping for air,

Still carrying out anaerobic respiration.

Time needed to remove total lactic acid:

20 minutes.

Blog.

Chat.

Blog.

Chat.

Blog.

Chat.

Blog.

Chat.

Blog.

Chat.

Blog.

Chat.

Blog.

Chat.

Blog.

What a cycle~

Blog Session Ended:

8.57pm

25 September 2009

走

一个人走，和两个人一起走有什么差别？

一个人走，

有孤单的感觉。

两个人走，

有分享的感觉。

一个人走，

有伤心落寞的感觉。

两个人走，

有开心愉快的感觉。

一个人走，

可以走出悲伤。

两个人走，

可以走出快乐。

你，

喜欢走怎样的路呢？

9.23pm

16.9.09

Shit

The early morning greeted me with such a tension that i couldn't bear.

I heard a girlish voice calling my name,

My eyes were then opened.

Little did i know it was already 6.50am.

The engine roared to life a few seconds later.

I once realised it was already late,

but it was already too late.

Preparations to go to school were soon done and finished,

I was ready after having my mug of MILO drunk and washed.

I was then hopin my mom could send me to school,

so i ran up and knocked her door.

The conversation ended in a few seconds,

and what i learnt was,

she wouldn't bother to send me to school.

As she told me to ask for help,

from my grandparents.

I called immediately, as it's already around 7.15am that time.

No time to loose.

Once the line got through,

i paused and thought,

"Wait, even if they picked up the phone,

I would have to explain everything,

it takes time. Hell lots of time.

Even if i did explain,

It'll again take some time for them to prepare to come and pick me up.

Furthermore, my grandpa's having heart disease,

and i don't think i should wake them up just because of me.

Thus,

grabbed my keys,

hopped right into my shoes,

opened, closed the small door from the auto-gate.

Started fast-walking.

I've already started having muscle cramps by the time i reached OK-Tuck Restaurant.

Perhaps i was pushing myself too hard,

trying not to be late,

in spite of knowing the fact that i'm already late.

Such short distance and having muscle cramps?

Yea, i'm not an athlete, i know that.

Fanks for reminding, appreciate that.

Upon arrival at class after the 18minutes "walk",

everyone was busy.

I cannot say that i'm glad,

for i desired someone, ANYONE to show a little concern, some sympathy.

There i was,

still carrying out anaerobic respiration,

gasping for air,

Soaked wet on the back,

as if i just took my shower.

It was so damn obvious,

No one asked nor cared.

Couldn't blame people though,

why the hell would people care?

I ain't any Jay Chou or David Beckham.

WHY?

Ask yourself, poor boy ShinN.

And the rest of the day was also ruined,

cuz of that bad start.

And now i just heard something which i really hate.

"Don't play too late arh ei, later tomorrow cannot wake up again..."

D*** you, DAD!!!!

D*** you, MOM!!!

D*** all of you!!!!!!!!!

12.19am

8/9/09

Somethin, I do not know for myself.

Today wasn't a great day, to be honest.

I wasn't happy.

Something is bothering me.

I couldn't do anything about it.

Or should i say,

I didn't?

Thanks for your concern,

I'm glad you were there.

I've always hoped someone or somebody,

anyone, anybody,

would be there for me.

I was desperately intend to speak my heart out.

No one was there.

I tried to control it.

Never let it control you, i spoke to myself.

I failed though.

It ran down,

What a drizzle.

Finally, i was asleep.

Glad.

Yes, I am.

------------------------------------Divider, I'm----------------------------------------------

The Dale Carnegie Training ended a little while ago.

23rd of August.

It was such a nice day.

My mom and sister attended the convocation as well.

It was that day that i hoped that it would last longer.

The whole training.

To be honest,

I learnt a lot.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People and Socialising.

How to Win Friends and Influence People.

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.

and so much more.

-What exactly is The Dale Carnegie Training?

log on tohttp://www.dalecarnegie.com/about_us/about_us.jsp

-Who is Dale Carnegie anyways?

He is...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dale_Carnegie

There's always the same question which people ask.

"Why can't you come on this Sunday?"

I'm attending a course.

"What course are you attending?"

Dale Carnegie Training.

"What exactly is that?"

I've tried answering that question before,

It's really tough.

Despite all my efforts explaining,

People wouldn't understand.

Some could,

Some could hardly.

Some people were flabbergasted upon hearing the fee.

I'm not surprised to see people surprised.

I know it ain't cheap,

Yet, it's totally worth it.

I'm always anxious about something.

I've told some of my friends about this training.

So i believe they would hardly not take me as an example or this training.

So how i behave and how i communicate,

what i do,

how i rectify a problem.

I believe they would just think,

"Cheh, after paying so much money for the cost,

you're still the same,

no changes at all"

I do know that people won't say this kind of things in front of me.

That's why i'm afraid and worried.

To be honest, i'm trying really hard to change my life.

Just give me some time, kay?

I really want a better life.

I'm trying really hard to apply those principles into my life,

especially school life.

If only some of my friends had also attended the training.

Then they would know the importance of those principles.

And therefore lead a better life like never before.

Recently,

I'm having a grudge for those who talk bad about people,

not to even mention criticism.

I'm already trying to hold back whenever i feel like criticising,

as the 1st principle's always on my mind.

But the stop worrying and start living thingy,

i'm still on it.

Give me some time, i'll work it out.

Principle No. 5

[Keep on SMILING] ShinN~

It does make a difference.

Phew... say BYE to exams!!

Yea Yea!!!!

Finally, EXAM's over!!!

Despite being sad and down after that chemistry exam,

i enjoyed and had some fun though, in Terminal 1...

G.I. JOE was a cool movie,

I would highly recommend you to watch this if you are into action movies and have an 1.5hours to kill, as it's quite entertaining, well, for me, that is...

Equipped with hi-tech armor/suits, gizmos and advance weaponries, ranging from bullet proof armor to super fast movement and hi-jump ability given by the hi-tech suits, you'll probably let out a WOW and LOL expression of your faces... Besides, both the ninjas, SNAKE EYES and STORM SHADOW looked FREAKIN AWESOME, it's a must-see for those who love intense fighting scenes, with shurikens being tossed and swords being swung around, you'll be thrilled to the core everytime these 2 appear...=]

To actually get the gist of the story if you don't intend to watch it in the theatres, just click this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/index.html?curid=13734892 to read more about the movie.

I do understand that all action movies e.g. the highly anticipated blockbuster movie of 2009, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Terminator Salvation, Mission Impossible, the 007 Bond are unreal or tooooo fake, as they tend to use lots of special effects and CG(Computer Graphics) to create beings like Optimus Prime or some really gigantic SKYNET company as they don't really exist...But if only you could imagine yourself being in that kind of world, and try to

enjoy yourself throughout the movie, you can never say G.I. JOE's a not-so-bad movie, as rater by those movie critics all around the world...

However, G.I. JOE's doing quite well in the theatres all around the world...

According to the statistics in wikipedia, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra opened at number one in North America on its opening weekend, grossing $54.7 million, and earning about $44 million i

n the rest of the world. As of August 17, 2009, the movie currently grossed $101.1 million at the domestic box office with $94.2 million from other countries with a total of $195.4 million worldwide.

>>The official movie poster of G.I. JOE<<

>>Snake Eyes, from the JOE team<<

>>Storm Shadow, from the COBRA team<<

Right before the movie, i bought myself some PS2 games to play with, as the exams' finished, thus giving me ample time to waste...

The game titles are as follows:

Ultimate Ninja 4: Naruto Shippuden

Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria

Kamen Rider: Climax Heroes

Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 2

However, there was a huge letdown as i couldn't get my hands on them once i descend down from the cinema level to the shop which i bought the games...

Due to the fact that the PS2 games sold in Malaysia are mostly pirated ones, hence once they received news that some authority responsible to those copyright and laws were going to Terminal 1, they immediately took action by closing down their HQ, where all the pirated games were kept and sold...

Moreover, it was my fault to let that friendly guy there safekeep my belongings and those games, consequently he told me to drop by some other day to pick my games up...

FRUSTRATED,

left with no other choices,

SAM and I went home when his dad called him up and said that he has arrived...

Nevermind though, as the stupid exams are over, i'll try to accompany my dear computer as much as i can...=]

Tomorrow's gonna be a normal schooling day again, i'm not looking forward to it...

Who will?

Will you look forward to be at school to learn some new chapters and things when you've just completed your exams the day before???

What an idiotic idea to go school again just after we've done the exams...

=[

WoHOOOO~~~~

Wohoo~~~

Finally,

it's Saturday,

gao dim jor the 6th day,

3 more to go~~

Monday

Sejarah

Biology(UEC)

Tuesday

Additional Maths

English Paper 2

Wednesday

Chinese

Chemistry (UEC)

6 papers, 3 days more,

GamBat3h!!

ILL

2nd day,

woke up,

bathed,

eaten,

had medicine...

Dizzy again ler...

the cough medicine makes me sleepy, as usual...

Next monday gonna exam ler,

also dunno how to die...

Nevermind ba,

sleep jor sin...

><

*外婆*

耶！！

久违的外婆回来了~

好久不见，

只不过一下楼，看见一个熟悉的身影...

带着帽子，心想应该是外婆本尊吧...

进行了电疗后，似乎看不见一丝白发了耶...

事实上，外婆已是“尼姑”一族了...

梳子对她来说已毫无用处了...

希望外婆早日康复，

我想看到健康、快乐的外婆...

现在她好可怜哦，

什么都不能吃，天天吃些粗茶淡饭...

难怪她变瘦了，变得憔悴了许多...

外婆，加油！！

孙儿

8.44pm

15 July 2009

永恒的思念

She is just away.

You cannot say,

you must not say she is dead.

She is just away with a cheery smile and a wave of the hand.

She has wandered into an unknown land,

and left us dreaming how very fair it must be,

since she lingers there,

so think of her faring on as dear in the love of there as the love of here.

Think of her still as the same,

and say she is not dead,

she is just away.

May it some how help to ease the sorrow that we all bear to know that there are many hearts than understand and care.

There is so little one can say,

so little one can do when you have lost a loved one who was very dear to you.

Still,

many understanding thoughts are being sent,

to let you know that others are and share loss today.

悄悄的，你走了。。。

犹记得初一的我们，几乎不曾说话。。

除了那一次，闹得蛮大的，

那件事，至今亦未曾忘记。。。

唉，当年，

幼稚的我。。。

上了初二，新的一年，

迎接新的自己。。。

是长大了没错，没那么幼稚、贪玩。。。

不久后，家里开始出现了一部电脑。。。

网上，

咱们还蛮聊得来，偶尔还聊聊心事、讲笑话笑笑。。。

无可否认，你是个很棒的朋友、listener。。。

当年，帮了我不少，谢啦~

初三、高一，

甚少碰面了，

就算撞到，

有时会打打招呼，但有时却好像陌生人

完全不认识。。。

只因为自己害臊，而畏惧，

不敢打招呼，

太差劲了吧。。。

现在，后悔、内疚，难过、

种种心情，无所不有。。。

后悔没有珍惜你，

内疚不曾珍惜你，

难过，失去了你。

如今，

一切一切，

已成为定局。。。

愿你在那儿，活得快乐、安稳。。。

答应我们，要天天开心哦！！

朋友，

郢兵 敬上

2.34am

12 July 2009

Father Forgets

This is something i would really like to share with you guys.

Father Forgets, by W. Livingston Larned

Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your beside.

These are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and i frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive-and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. " What is it you want?" I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in our heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding-this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that i expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and i have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy-a little boy!"

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

By W. Livingston Larned during the early 20th century

ShinN

3.23pm

9 July 2009

A Day Passed, Again

What a Day.

From 4pm till 10.35pm.

He's sure diligent, worked for more than 6 hours to earn RM80.

Really look up to him. Tough and Strong.

Mentally tired now.

Can't wait to get in my bed.

He can surely tell i live a boring life.

As i was struggling pretty hard to entertain him.

Love Guru, CJ 7, 我猜我猜我猜猜猜，分手擂台...

Laughed, really had fun.

Fortunately, mom baked cakes and toasted some homemade bread.

Or else, he'll eat us all alive for sure.

Hope that mug of MILO worked.

Yep, it's 10.35pm.

He departed.

Soon, it was his turn as well.

Let's just call it a night, shall we?

=]

ShinN

10.57pm

8 July 2009

It's you, My Life

I want to hold your hands, and walk a mile,

Don't want to miss you, even a while.

My life is so beautiful, cause,

Dear, it's you, My Life.

Hug me for my worries to die,

My tears to dry,

and

My loneliness to fly.

It hurts me to know,

How i sometimes can be a little selfish,

When it comes to you.

I am getting sentimental over you!

For God's sake,

Please explain to me why all these.

I miss you every moment of the day,

I keep myself awake just to listen to you,

I keep myself empty just for you to fill,

I keep myself alive just to see you.

My mornings miss you,

My evenings seek you,

Where were you all these days?

Why weren't you there to wipe my tears?

The fear of future is worse than the pain of past,

Still,

I bother the least,

Cause you are there.

Even seconds are too long to miss you,

I want to hold your loving hands and walk a mile,

Don't want to miss you, even a while.

1.13am

29 June 2009

LoveE

=]

Pop star Michael Jackson dies in Los Angeles aged 50

Top Image: The body of pop singer Michael Jackson is loaded into a van to be taken to the Los Angeles County Coroner's office yesterday.

Tributes have been pouring in for pop singer Michael Jackson who died yesterday following a suspected cardiac arrest in his Bel-Air home.

The 13-time Grammy award winner Jackson was pronounced dead at 10.26 p.m. Irish time after arriving at the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center in full cardiac arrest, said Fred Corral of the Los Angeles County Coroner's office.

The cause of death is not known and an autopsy is likely to take place later today, Mr Corral said.

Jackson was taken ill at home and his personal physician tried to resuscitate him but could not, his brother Jermaine told reporters. Jackson was taken by paramedics to the hospital, where doctors worked for more than an hour to try to revive him before pronouncing him dead, the brother said.

Jackson (50) became a musical icon performing with The Jackson 5, when he was just six years of age. By the time he was 11, he’d graduated from standing at the back playing the tambourine and bongos to fronting the group’s debut Motown single I Want You Back . It went to number one and Jackson’s haul of blockbuster hits begun.

But it was 1983’s Thriller which was the singer’s tour-de-force. It sold like no other album before it, amassing 60 million sales and seeing seven of the album’s nine tracks released as singles.

The next year, he unveiled his signature “moonwalk” dance move while performing Billie Jean during an NBC special.

In recent years, controversy continued to dominate his life. A 2003 television documentary, Living with Michael Jackson , claimed that Jackson still had sleepovers with young boys and had his third child with a surrogate mother, but Jackson denied these charges.

Concerns about his health had been rampant during his 2005 trial in California on charges of child sex abuse at which he was acquitted and in 2008 when he was photographed in Las Vegas in a wheelchair for reasons that were never explained.

At the time of his death, Jackson was preparing to perform 50 concerts at London’s 02 Arena.The shows, which were due to begin on July 13, sold out within hours of going on sale. AEG Live said Jackson had passed a lengthy physical exam in early 2009, before the London concerts were announced.

"For Michael to be taken away from us so suddenly at such a young age, I just don't have the words. I've lost my little brother today, and part of my soul has gone with him," said Quincy Jones, who collaborated with Jackson on three of his best-selling albums, Off the Wall, Thriller and Bad .

Michael is survived by three children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince Michael Jackson II.

At times like this, words seem so powerless to express the thought a message like this is intended to bring. Still, perhaps you'll understand what word we must leave unspoken and know the sympathy that comes to you today!!

With my deepest sympathy in the love that surround you, may you find strength...In the memories you cherish, may you find peace...

Sleep Tight, MJ~

7.42pm
26 June 2009
A Sad Day

An Apple a Day, Keeps the Doctors Away...Wohoo

I really wish i had an ipod or an iphone,

as they're really COOL product from Apple...

Totally Wicked design,

Slim and Stylish...

Perfect for a perfectionist like me...

^^

Looks Like My Summer Vacation Is, Over.....

Yep, It's 15th of June 2009,

The 1st day of the lame o' schooling days...

Haiz, can't sleep till 12 or 1 pm ler,

gotta wake up at 6 a few hours later...

Looks like my Summer vacation is,

over...

Here we go again...

Taking results, listening to those teachers crapping again...(not all of them though)

Some are quite nice to talk to...

Some other,

SPEECHLESS...

I can't say i'm looking forward to this day,

naturally, i prefer the holidays...

Despite being bored all day,

I had so much fun spending my time with friends...

When we went to jusco( for 3 or 4 times ler)

When we went to Mid Valley...

When I went to those camps...

When they came to my house...

It was all memories worth remembering,

guess it'll be stucked in my head,

till i leave the world,

Forever...

=]

Finally, really wanna thank everyone i know,

for they really made this holiday meaningful and worth remembering...

ShinN

12.57am

15 June 2009

Limit

现在，身体达到了极限...

前天(28.5.09)晚上8.45pm到(30.5.09)今早或凌晨2.20，足足29小时35分，都是活跃状态，没睡过觉...再说2.20am到6.45am的bedtime,也未免太少了吧？？

不但是扑在桌子上睡，还要喂蚊子。。。（想必蚊子先生们到今晚都不需睡了吧？？呵呵）

脚也抽筋了无数次，现在四肢酸痛之余，

脑袋很重，

心也很痛。

突变之不爽

“我就知道你是酱lin diao的咯，全部都懂了…”

其母之，你现在到底什么意思哦！？！？

我全程在jusco都在为了你而担心，担心你回到学校后，剩你一个人，怎样过哦？？

一直在想办法让你在他们回到学校，即10-11点之前，不用这么孤独一个人在学校过,

连吃KFC都还在帮你想…

你爸找上门来，我就全程都在为你焦虑，担心你会被你爸”铲“得很惨，帮你想要如何要让你爸信任你…

妈的，你最后，杀出一句-“就知道你是酱lin diao 的啦，全部人都懂了…”

有没有想过我的感受的哦？？

我跟老师回家时，都一直觉得你很无辜，到头来，你真的很无辜咯，我有罪啦！！！！

屌！！！肏！！！

回到食堂，第一件事想到要做的就是帮你收拾行李，好让你明日来拿行李时，会比较方便…

我竟然还蠢到要酱贴心，再三叮咛他们三个：俊宏、德耀和祖庆明天帮你去林泉光礼堂拿水壶…

从来没想过我会为了一个朋友，酱焦虑不安咯。

从来没想过我对一个人的真诚，会换来的是那句话咯。

如果你只是泛泛之交，你觉得我会酱好吗？？

为你欢喜，为你愁？？

为了你的事，搞到好像自己的事酱，非解决不可？？

跟他们讲，是为了什么？？

原因何在？？？

简单， 最单纯的为朋友的担心与焦虑,

我几怕你回家后必须面对你酱凶的老爸,你懂的没有？？？？？

而你却把我当作”傻海“，因为我一直跟人讲你被爸爸拉回家的事，令你很难堪、很没脸。

难到我不是吗？？

一回到来就跟那三个在会所讲”大件事“，讲了酱多，明知自己解说能力超弱，还拼命挣扎，希望他们明白你的

处境…

过后到学校门口时，又跟另一帮讲…

是啦是啦，我是很傻海啦，看到这个又讲，看到那个又讲，怕死全世界不懂酱…

但是，你有想过吗？？

我跟他们讲了过后，他们全部还是自己讲自己的，脸上露出的，竟还有笑容…

然后看着他们微笑着，挥挥手跟我说”掰掰“…

好像不当一回事酱…

我真的不想为酱小的事，来比较自己咯，但是，在这四四方方的电脑面前，我觉得自己无需对它有所保留咯…

我哦，去到jusco，一直到这一刻，

回到家写这blog post的这一刻，都没有笑过，跟不用说微笑了…

你觉得是因为谁？？？？？

到底是谁酱傻海噢？？

我啦，谁？？

上几次的的科学学会大型活动，你以为我真的很想打机啊？？

义卖会、test game那天，说要打机的绝对不会是我…

现在真的不想尊重任何人了，所以我要说：”多谢你，我现在在其他高委前的‘傻海打机仔‘形象，都是拜你说赐

的。“你妈的！！！！！

你以为我真的很喜欢打机咩？？

只是我觉得，既然是朋友要求，而且久久一次，将就下咯…

很多次了咯，给其他人觉得我只不过是个很不负责任的打机仔，好像吸了白粉酱，非打不可…

可以不要白痴吗？？如果人人认为我爱打机的话，我没其他话讲，但只能说我可以为了一些朋友的”爱打机“而

打机，亦可以为了他们的”想打机“而打机…

强调：现在的我，并非当年初一、初二的我了，当年的颜郢兵，的确是典型的”逃学型打机仔“…

唉~心淡了，

真的真的，以后不会再真心对待一个朋友。

在我这种”烂仔打机仔“的世界里，”好朋友“绝不存在！！！

“好朋友们，你们通通去死吧，我放弃拥有你们了！！！”

“朋友们，你们要坚强地活下来，你们就是我的全部了！！！”

（写这篇部落格时，作者听了>15次的《杨丞琳–带我走》了，

时间约10时至11时）

（当天有去camp的读者们，抱歉啦，我这种不负责任的差劲筹委，不会带给你们敬爱的学会任何进步的，所

以，你们加油吧）

突变之不爽

ShinN

11.04pm

五月最后第二日

31.5.09

My Daily Horoscope

Read your new Daily Horoscopes created by ASTROLOGY.

What Are You?

5月18日下午，大约三时半，回家途中，爷爷听着988.

回到我的母校，芙蓉国民华小，

等着10岁的弟弟和刚开始念小学的妹妹...

忽然, 听见熟悉的音乐，

它似两年前，由杰伦首部自导自演的电影《不能说的秘密》之主题曲，

听着Intro时，那熟悉的钢琴声，

令我有股想开口唱的冲动，反正当时车上只有我一个，

爷爷下车等弟妹去了...

正当我想把第一句，

“冷咖啡离开了杯垫     我忍住的情绪在很后面”

唱出口时,

万万没想到，

在脑海里回响的竟是个约7、8岁大的小男孩声音...

我调高了音量，尝试听听自己是否听错...

没错，钢琴音的确一模一样...

只不过，那“动听”的孩子气声音，

及歌词，实在令人难以想象...

砸~《不能说的便秘》问世了...

到家，指导爷爷如何利用他手机add contacts，

洗澡，回房，赤裸裸地看着镜子，

没想到，我竟在跟镜子对话，

镜中人和我都在穿衣、裤，

但俩人的嘴巴却说个不停...

我忘了镜中人对我说过什么...

说了蛮多似乎是白痴说的话，

但至少有些还能让我听得进去...

Something's really drivin' me crazy,

Cuz i've never found myself talking to...

MYSELF!!!

What the Heck?!?

Perhaps that's what that Pikachu was talking about,

"Tekanan Emosi", remember??

I sure did, 

but never had i thought of i was one of those people...

1.22am

19 May 2009

An Exciting Day At HELP

I know there would be hardly someone to read all of these words, as there're more than 1000 words here, for your information. By the way, the dull and the least interesting story would surely bring you to sleep, so just stop at this point if you can't bear it.

Do proceed if you'd like.

What a day~Tired and exhausted. Yet, I enjoyed most of the day, had some fun. Well, almost...

Welcoming myself back to HELP University College, the university of achievers. Initially, i thought it would be great, as i didn't need to attend classes while the others needed...However, I didn't think that it would be this tiring after listening attentively during the whole Grand Finals of the debate, and recording the whole debate(Well, not whole actually) with my w890i's built in 3.2 mega pixels camera. 

I haven't seen the recorded clip, but i don't expect it to be a good clip as i was sitting at the 3rd row from the back, and there was this Indian teacher who sat in front of me...With his big head and dark, black, curly hair right in front of me, i had a hard time trying to find a suitable angle to record the debating process, which was a extremely high standard debate you wouldn't want to miss. FYI(For your information), the phrase [extremely high standard debate] wasn't what i would have said to myself, but to every member in the hall, even to the foreigner who was a Britain and The Manager of Edexcel. I personally liked this {Ang Mo} as in Hokkien, during the time when he gave his speech, everyone clapped the most when he gave several compliment for us Malaysians. Some were about HELP University College(I didn't know it was such a well-known university until he spoke), some were about how was the debate which he complimented with the [extremely high standard debate] in comparison with the debates in England, he also said our debate here could be equivalent to one of the highest standard debates in England, which made me to be proud of Malaysia for the 1st time for whatever reason. And his speech was full of And Mo accent, that's why the whole crowd was listening so attentively that i couldn't bear the quietness of the hall. LOL

SMK Assunta VS SMK King George V. Does the school King George V ring a bell? For guys like me who has been living in Seremban since i was 5, it certainly does sound familiar...It's actually KGV, a school full of scholars in my opinion. Now, back to the debate, the representatives' English of both schools were certainly good in the sense that they can speak fluently. Despite the minor short pauses during their speeches, their mastery grammar and vocabulary were superb and spectacular, without a single doubt. I do wish if i were they, and wish i could speak as good as them. I do wish i could type more about the whole process and the title of the debate, but, as a matter of fact, i couldn't...Gotta ask the others for today's debate title as i could only follow up what exactly they were trying to argue only when the 2nd speakers of both teams started to speak, not that they didn't say clearly, it's just that i only had the faintest idea of what the hell was the title when the 1st speakers of both the Government and the Opposition started to speak.

Without further delay, i think i should just announce the results to my fellow readers. At last, the results were announced by the England/British Silver-haired guy(which i had mentioned above, the Manager of Edexcel). It was SMK King George V(KGV) who won the competition, Well Done. I did feel sorry for SMK Assunta as they were also good and they did well too, they were so close to winning, it was a tight match, actually. Both teams did exceptionally well. Actually, i myself wanted the Assunta team to win as their team were all consisting of the opposite sex(FYI, their school isn't a co-ed school like ours in Chung Hua, Assunta's a girls' school). The 1st speaker was somehow pretty and kinda cute, and i found myself can't stop looking at her attractive appearance, wtf, lol, she got me completely mesmerised. And i felt a little bad after the debate and the prize giving ceremony ended, cuz i found our that she was taller than me, damn it, no chance jor, lol...

Fortunately, her fellow teammates were not as tall as her, and they were quite, errr... short...or...not tall....=] And i immediately grab the opportunity to congratulate them and shook my hand with them. Hey, they got the 1st runner up, it's simple manners to congratulate people, right? ^^ Seems like i left out the prize giving...But i'm not gonna go into the details of the prize giving, i'm just gonna tell you the prizes given...

For SMK Assunta who got the 1st runner up, they got themselves certificates, cash worth RM3000 and scholarships worth RM 10000(if i hadn't mistaken for the actual value) if they intend to further their studies at HELP University College, of course. As for the Grand Prize Winners, they got themselves each a Sony Erricson hand phone, a BENQ digital camera, a certificate, a LCD television, a desktop computer, cash worth RM 5000 and scholarships worth RM 15000(again, if i hadn't mistaken) By the way, i don't think the LCD TV and computer are taken back to one of the debater's home for their personal home usage. I personally think they are for their school, which will be added to one of the properties of KGV from today. 

Refreshments were already served before the prize giving ceremony ended. We queued up and were given some food, including curry puffs, sandwiches and a egg-tart/ blueberry tart or whatever you call it. The tart was exceptionally good, but i didn't bother to Q-up another time to just eat another tart. Instead, i took myself a cup of coffee and then a cup of tea before we chatted with Mr Lim Yee Huat about A' Levels. He then leaded us to his ex-colleague's office to let us know more about A' Levels. Dunno why the hell we were starting to worry about our future roads and studies, we inquired what we wanted to know. (Before we went up the stairs, Mr Lim actually congratulated the Assunta team, as i've mentioned above. So that was the chance i was saying, which i immediately said "Gratz" and shook hands with HER...or them...) 

We had a short QnA session with Mr Lim's former colleague. Then it was time to leave, going up the van, and departed for Seremban. This was when things started to go bad, i borrowed a phone from Joel, called my KIND and LOVING grandpa. I asked Sooooo politely, '阿公，你可以来载我吗？' He sounded sleepy and claimed that he was already waiting in school. I could immediately sense he's furious and angry about something. Nevertheless, i kept quiet in the phone as i could hardly hear what he was trying to say in the phone, as the line wasn't good at that time, i suppose. I dunno wtf he was saying, but i thought i heard something like this : he waited for half an hour in school and to no avail, i was nowhere to be seen. Then, he went back to try to take a rest, or nap as we call it. I didn't want to bother about that, which i wasn't sure about what i heard. The thing i heard clearly was what he said initially, he was already waiting in the canteen, and the last thing he said was, “OK啦，在食堂等！” And then i hung up the phone as he was crapping a lot in the phone and i didn't want to hear anymore about it. 

When i arrived in school, and thanked the Indian driver before getting down from the van, the familiar green coloured Myvi was nowhere to be seen. Initially, i thought he was on his way, despite him saying he was already waiting, i waited, trying my patience, eh? And then i made a second call as i was afraid i didn't hear clearly what he said on the phone and wanted to make sure i was waiting at the correct place. Fortunately, i was correct and then there he goes again, trying to crap on the phone. I already knew i had to have a little argument or quarrel with him in the car, which was the journey back home. Yep, we really had. Sorry that i don't pay much respect whenever someone intends to quarrel or scold me. My deepest apologies, but i really can't tolerate bullets firing towards me and i have to try to dodge them when i'm way too tired to even move my limbs. So couldn't he just concentrate driving the car and just cut the crap off?? What a grumpy old man he is...

And back home, taken my shower, had my dinner, and here I am, spent more than an hour typing this freakishly long post.( approximately 1.6k words, if you've read till this point. And for those whose English are good and among the best, please ignore my mistakes, it would be kind of you to point them out to me. But no thanks, really. You can't blame me for my lousy English as i've already admitted that i AM NOT AS GOOD AS YOU THINK, and I don't really have the energy and time to re-read and check my posts before posting them.)

ShinN

8.51pm

The Last Night of April 2009