Life Ain't Easy

'Long time no see, Canteen'

that's what i tried to converse to the Canteen,

when i came down from the familiar staircase,

it feels strange...

'How long has it been since i came down here and had a meal?'

as i walk,

'two months, i think' 

'Nay, on second thought, it's only 1 month'

I bought a plate of Nasi Lemak, which is my favourite, and really enjoyed it.

'How long has it been since my stomach felt so full?'

It was really satisfying,

to be full...

Ever since that day,

I decided not to use money if i have an option,

Cuz i have not much money left...

I could have been sad and angry right now,

that my dad doesn't wanna give me pocket money for this month...

I was rather unsatisfied and furious, 

but not now...

Y'know why i love the piano?

i always did,

cuz it always has a nice, soothing effect...

Okay, despite not playing the piano,

I could always listen to it, k?

I've already forgotten the reason that dad of mine doesn't want to give me what he ought to give, as a parent...

Perhaps i don't even know why...

A mere guess would do the trick at these times,

maybe due to the overuse of the phone...

Dunno, i know that i spent beyond the limit,

i know it's my fault for spending that much...

but do you really have to do this?

withdrawing the SIM card is okay for me now,

it matters but there's nothing i can do...

But do you really have to do this???

Not giving pocket money as well???

I don't get it, are you calling me to die???

Cuz these days, i think i'm falling sick as i didn't have my breakfast and lunch...

The dinner was a relieve as i thought i finally had something to eat...

But it didn't last long till i felt hungry again...

Living without a phone, 

they thought it doesn't really matter,

for a mere child or student like me...

But it matters,

it affects,

it's a nuisance,

which changes everything...

the distance,

So close, yet,

So far...

A gap is born...

Recently, some of my friends have been complaining why hadn't i replied their messages...

Sorry, guys,

cuz i can't help it...

Some of you said i should go get a SIM card, which is quite affordable now...

Well, the word "affordable"

isn't in my dictionary, not now,

not this time...

As I've mentioned above,

i have not much money left...

You expect me to buy a SIM card and use it like i don't care?

No...

Absolutely not, i ain't nuts, not just yet...

Perhaps till the day,

when someone gives me pocket money again,

i'll be back...

PLEASE

Do Not Think That I'm Ignoring You,

It's just that i can't do anything about it...

Life really ain't easy, right?

ShinN

2.36am

28 March 2009